1. I have brown eyes, you see. And they are not the delightfully pretty hazel-that-turns-other-colors-in-different-lights kind of brown-eyed, oh no. I am browner-than-brown-eyed, a super dark brown that does no fancy tricks or hocus-pocus in any lighting.
Sometimes they look brown.
And other times…they still look brown.
2. My hair is naturally a muddy, dark blonde. “Ugh, your hair is so mousy,” a relative once told me when I was little, back in a time before mothers brought their 12-year-olds into salons for hundreds of dollars of highlights as they sometimes do now. It was back in a simple and naive time before I could even begin to know or understand the time, cost, and literal pains that grown women go through to destroy such an awful color from their heads (to destroy it from all of existence, really) as I was much too busy wapping my twin sister on the head with slap bracelets and drooling on Jordan Knight via pillowcase every night.
(“Oh. Oh yes. You’re like me–we are naturally an ash-blonde,” my hairstylist said recently, all while nodding with a fine-tooth comb sticking straight out of her mouth as she quickly stirred up a big bowl of bleach; stirring with hard, determined, punctuated strokes as a tiny beads of sweat began to form on her upper lip, as if she were beating the life out of it.)
3. My first pair of eyeglasses were tortoise shell. I remember the eye doctor nodding at me as she helped me try on dozens of pairs under the harsh fluorescent lighting in the Shopko Optical department when I was 11, nodding much in the same way my hairstylist did a few months ago, as if we had a super secret pact or agreement. She nodded and said, “Yes. There you go. Tortoise shell looks great on you.”
4. It was the first time anyone had told me that anything looked great on me. Even if they were Nintendo brand eyeglasses; even if they did come complete with a terrified-to-look-dweeby-11-year-old-girl-with-brown-eyes-and-mousy-brown-hair and a matching Super Mario Brothers protective case. And I kinda….believed her.
5. (Aaaand then I grew up and learned that there are three certainties in life: death, taxes, and tortoise shell looks great on damn near any bish, le’sigh.)
This palette definitely doesn’t disappoint–I grabbed it in ‘bronze’ and all eight colors are beautiful and work well on this blonde-haired, brown-eyed girl:
Jacket: Emerson Made (buy it here) (similar style under $100 here) (and at GAP + take 35% off with code “BRONGAP35”) (and here + take 35% off with code “BRONGAP35”)
Belt: Banana Republic (similar style here) (and here, on sale!)
Shoes: J Crew Perfect Patent Pumps (similar style here) (and here) (and 50% off Elizabeth & James) (and for $39.90 at nordstrom)
Clutch: Kooba Josie Clutch (similar style here) (love this at topshop, too)